Am I fat?

One day my timeline in the twitter land was full of jokes on the above question. As an attempt to participate on that, I posted the following tweets.

Am I fat?
# Am_ I_ fat? Pythagoras: No. You are just geometrically imperfect.

# Am_ I_ fat? Zeno: By reductio ad absurdum you never be that fat!!

# Am_ I_ fat? Socrates: I know nothing about it. But first, what is your definition of fat?

# Am_ I_ fat? Plato:   You know the answer. But you don’t know that you know. Not before you walk out of the cave and see the light.

# Am_ I_ fat? Aristotle: Man who is ugly in appearance is not likely to be happy. Did I answer your question?

# Am_ I_ fat? Thomas Aquinas: When reason can not establish the claim of your fatness, leave the claim to theologian and your personal belief.

# Am_ I_ fat? Rene Descartes : Everything is to be doubted. But for your case, I am sure you are fat.

# Am_ I_ fat? Thomas Hobbes: The only things which is existed in reality are bodies in motion. In which yours is quite dominant.

# Am_ I_ fat? Karl Marx : The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggle. You are in the bottom of social class, fat ass!!

These jokes failed miserably. Can anybody tell me why?

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